Phase 2 Week 7 Day 5 Falling or Jumping off the Wagon

Dateline Wuxi, China, Thursday,  October 18, 2012

591 on the elliptical this morning.

Midnight and a half last night I had a glass of Compari on ice.  Sweet.  Totally sabotaging what would otherwise have been a pretty strict day of watching what I eat and drink.  Compulsions are hard to deal with late at night.   Truth is, I really enjoyed it and felt I deserved it after marking until past eleven and then entering marks.  But that’s bullshit, isn’t it.

Tonight we’re going to dinner with students.  This weekend we go to Shanghai for Jenny’s wedding and my birthday weekend.  Gonna be tough to stay on the program, if I even try.

Okay, dinner with the students was fun if a bit of a sensory overload.  I drank a lot of huang jiu.  Everybody was happy and friendly and LOUD.  Now I feel fat again.  Burping terrible Chinese spices.  I’m sure I’ll recover.

Phase 2 Week 7 Day 4 All that the Flesh is Heir To

Dateline Wuxi, China, Wednesday October 17, 2012

I’ve got a toothache today.  Right side.  Front teeth.  Just will not stop.  Feels like gums have receded and exposed stuff that shouldn’t be exposed.  Fuck.

562 on the elliptical machine this morning in 31 minutes.  It was my turn to get up first and get on the machine first.  Tough because we were up until after one in the morning last night.  I’m definitely working too hard.  And complaining too much.

Phase 2 Week 7 Day 3 Sabotage Continues.

Dateline Wuxi, China, Tuesday October 16, 2012

545 on the elliptical this morning while reading my eyepad, which is not easy because my glasses keep fogging up and the sweat drips.

hearty soup for lunch and then we went to the cafe to meet Jin Bo and it got late and I ate a huge bowl of Beef and Noodles which must be a brazillian callories.  Damn. Continual sabotage

Phase 2 Week 7 Day 1 Looking for Inspiration

Dateline Wuxi, China, Sunday October 14, 2012

And renewed motivation.  I definitely need both if I am going to improve past this point of barely acceptable and not embarrassed to be seen in public.

I was up until stupid o’clock last night.  Four in the morning to be precise.  Slept in until ten.  Bowl of oatmeal with a banana for breakfast and 623 calories on the elliptical in my 31 minutes.

Still have at least a dozen papers to mark before tomorrow, plus enter all the data.  Must get to work.

Phase 2 Week 6 Day 7 Cheater Day

I started my cheater day last night, finishing off the bottle of sambuca.  That was the reason I woke up this morning with a headache.  Sambuca is nasty stuff for hangovers.

I started the day with a Four Circle ice cream bar.  Ruth made chocolate chip cookies and I’ve lost count of how many have slipped down my throat.  They go down easy.  I also had a slice of bread with peanut butter and banana for breakfast.

Today we spent the afternoon in Starbucks.  I had a blueberry muffin and a DQ ice cream, plus a Caesar salad wrap for lunch.  We had lasagna for dinner, preceded by very oily deep fried calamari and washed down with a glass of white wine.  I had another of Ruth’s chocolate chip cookies when we got back home, washed down with a compari and tonic.  (It was supposed to be a compari and soda, but I didn’t read the label on the can.)  Oh yes, there was a second ice cream bar, and I’m about to go pour myself the second compari and tonic.  So it’s a cheater day alright, whether I deserve one or not.

I feel fat.

Phase 2 Week 6 Day 6 Weigh in Friday

Dateline Wuxi, China, Friday October 12, 2012

95.6kg this morning. = 210lb 12oz
Last week I was  96.1kg

Down .5kg = 1lb 2oz  from last week and again I’m going in the right direction.  No doubt the sambuca nightcaps aren’t helping much.

My best weight before going to Canada was:  94.9 = 209.2 lbs.
starting weight 109.6 – 94.9 = 14.7kg or 32.4 lbs. total loss before the summer
I’m still .7kg from the weight I had at the start of the summer, which means I’m no where near making my goal of being under 200lbs by my birthday.  Trying to achieve that now would probably be unhealthy.  I’ve only got 10 days to go.  I’d have to lose a pound a day to make that goal, and that probably would still be short of having a six pack.

Ruth as 65..8  last week.
She’s 64.6kg = 142lb 7oz this morning.
So Ruth is also down 1.2kg = 2lb 10oz even with 牛肉面 niurou mian for dinner yesterday.

561 calories on the elliptical.  Not great, but at least I got on the machine.

Phase 2 Week 6 Day 5 Not Strict

Dateline Wuxi, China, October 11, 2012

5812 calories on the elliptical this morning.  Felt good, but obviously my energy is dropping as I get further into the week.  I would have thought that the sambuca nightcap last night would show up in this morning’s number, but no such luck.

Breakfast again was skinless chicken breast, shredded, with qing cai and brown rice and just a dash of soya sauce.  Not too salty this morning, but a bit tasteless.

Phase 2 Week 6 Day 4 Sabotage Continues

Dateline Wuxi, China, Wednesday October 10, 2012

I really wanted a nightcap of Sambuca last night, but it got to late.  That was the only thing that saved me.

Exactly 600 calories on the elliptical trainer this morning in 31 minutes.

Skinless chicken breasts with brown rice and qing cai poached in whey this morning for breakfast. Made it a bit too salty with the addition of Chinese marinade and soya sauce.  Still, tasty and a nice change.

Phase 2 Week 6 Day 3 Sabotage

Dateline Wuxi, China, Tuesday October 9, 2012

616 on the elliptical this morning in my half hour, but it took concentration on maintaining the effort.  Not sure a high number is worth it.

I’m trying to figure out why I am so obviously sabotaging my efforts to achieve my goal of slender wasted youthful figure.  Why?  It reminds me of trying to quit smoking, in those years before I was successful,  the way I would chip and borrow smokes from neighbours.  Sabotaging my efforts to give the stinking weed up.  Now I’m doing the same thing with weight loss.  Why?

Now, I thoroughly enjoyed the sambuca nightcap last night.  I really did.  But was it worth this feeling of being untrue to my goals and desires.  Could I not have waited until Saturday, the cheater day.  Well, yes I could have.  But it wouldn’t have been the same thing.

I notice that I usually lose self control late at night, when I’m tired.  Or maybe that’s just another excuse.  It’s a puzzle.

This morning Ruth asked if I wanted to go first on the machine.  I said no.  So she reluctantly got up and did her exercise.  When she announced that the machine was free, I made noises about not wanting to use it.  “Well, if you’re not going to exercise then I’m going to move the alarm clock back to quarter after seven instead of quarter two.”

How sweet.  She had given up half an hour of sleep for me, just to encourage me to exercise.  We’ve come to an agreement.  We shall take turns being firsts on the machine.  My turn tomorrow.  Damn.